Calling all English Blog Spammers, Linkbaiters, Gray Hat SEO'ers - A Business Proposition

Hey, all of you who have graciously and promptly submitted very complementary, gushing, really nice comments to our past blog post - we really appreciate the attention and kind thoughts, whether or not you are a person, an automated spam-bot or perhaps an Amazonian Turk. We obviously also appreciate Blogger's "select all" feature when deleting them, and marking as spam. I'm curious though - when marked as spam, do you'all get a nice response as well?

Here's my proposition - while obviously all of this futile commenting is offshore, english-as-a-second-language linkbuilding spam, it amuses me. So much so, that I'll be including much of it in my next book - but that's another topic.

FYI - I'll need to be inserting some really nice spam collecting, linkbait to attract potential new clients per this offer....so, dear readers, please ignore phrases like the following - cheap inbound linkbuilding copywriting - hundred of free inbound links for maximum google page rank and web traffic ...

However, while amusing, what truly annoys me is the abject lack of thought, consideration or investment that appears to be going into generation of the comments - whether or not the comments are individually typed or generated by a site-scraping, auto-registering spambot client. While most are really funny, and some are outstanding in terms of sheer, unbridled, Faulknerian (i.e. James Faulkner, inventor of the multi-page, run-on, stream-of-consciousness thought sentence by a an idiot man-child) lunacy - all completely reject the notion or even the lamest attempt at proper, or remotely conversational American English grammar.

It's made "SEO" (Search Engine Optimization) and SMO (Social Media Optimization) 4-letter words among the Internet business marketing and advertising community, and their prospective clients or litigants.

To wit - here are just a few of my most favorites, from this past blog - which have, unfortunately, had to have been unceremoniously sent to Google's trash bin (though likely will live forever on some backup tape):

The compliment: "Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice whilst you amend your site, how could i subscribe for a weblog web site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit familiar of this your broadcast provided vivid transparent concept my webpage - www.somethingreallystupidlyspammy.com "

The family connection: "My spouse and i were absolutely thankful that Emmanuel could do his preliminary research through your precious recommendations he obtained using your web pages. It's not at all simplistic to simply continually be releasing things that many others might have been making money from. So we see we've got the website owner to appreciate because of that. All the explanations you have made, the straightforward blog menu, the relationships you will help create - it's many amazing, and it's really letting our son in addition to the family know that that issue is enjoyable, and that is exceptionally fundamental. Thank you for the whole thing! My web page - www.somethingequallystupid.com "

The mindless distraction: "Τoday, I ωеnt to the beachfrοnt with my kids. I found a sea shell anԁ gave it to my 4 уear old dаughter аnd saiԁ "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." Ѕhе рlаcеԁ thе shell to her eaг and scгeаmеd. Тherе was a hermit cгab insiԁe and it pinchеd her eаr. She never wants to go back! LoL I know thіѕ is еntirelу off topiс but I hаԁ to tell someοnе! Also viѕit my wеbρаge :: adult personals on www.bitemyearhardthenlisten.com "

and, of course, the Apprentice request: "Hmm it appears lіke уour ѕite аte my first comment (it ωas super long) so ӏ gueѕs I'll just sum it up what I had written and say, I'm thoroughly enjoуing уour blog. I tοo am an аѕpігіng blog blogger but I'm still new to everything. Do you have any points for beginner blog writers? I'd certаinly apprecіate it. Also visit my web page at www.impaid3dollarsanhourtocrankoutthiscrap.com ".

Free SEO inbound web links for business site traffic, blog post and social comments.

Here's my proposition, to all the nice blog spam outfits out there, and to all businesses who think they can outsource quality SEO, linkbuilding and social media overseas, or simply do it on the cheap - in language you'll understand:

Please do what is the needful and kindly let ME (instead of you, or your sorry-assed PHP script) type social comments into high page rank blogs using absolutely, gosh-darned proper American conversational English grammar. Timely, topic, relevant, interesting and possibly useful contextual tidbit content included for free, along with a URL-shortened link (so the link doesn't look so gosh-darned stupid)! For $5 a comment, Paypal accounts accepted, definitely in time for the highest page view traffic on Tuesday mornings before the emails kick off!

That's right - I WILL WRITE YOUR SPAM FOR YOU, AND IT WILL BE GOOD, GUARANTEED - THE GOODEST ENGLISH SPAM YOU'VE EVER SEEN, SURE TO ATTRACT MANY LINKS, FOLLOWERS, FRIENDS, HIGH PAGE RANKINGS AND AMERICAN DOLLARS OR EUROS. It will fool everyone, even Mr. Akismet. It will include a touch of humour and wit, perhaps a nod to contemporary culture or industry, a brief but acceptably warm and casual entreaty or compliment...and it's certain its content won't be unfortunately cluttered with misplaced or missing apostrophes. It will find its way casually and acceptably into more conservative professional forums, like LinkedIn, on topic and without promotional slant. YOU WILL REAP FANTASTIC REWARDS FROM THE MANAGER OF YOUR SPAM-MILL, AND YOU WILL BE CELEBRATED APPROPRIATELY IN YOUR OWN LANGUAGE. EVEN IF YOUR OWN LANGUAGE IS SOME VARIANT OF SOUTHERN JERSEY GUIDO. I CAN SAY THAT, I'VE LIVED NEAR THERE.

Thanks, dear global spammer and link-builder community, for allowing me to help you - and perhaps help the world improve its online use of proper English grammar, one bit of meaty, tasty, oozing bit of delicious link-bait at a time.

Choosing an Internet Digital Interactive Marketing Partner in DC and Northern Virginia

How to evaluate your digital, interactive marketing partner, for local and regional businesses - particularly in the Washington DC and Northern Virginia marketing and advertising area.

We'll put it out there – as you evaluate prospective partners like KME Internet Marketing to help with web marketing initiatives, gaining exposure for your business and driving new sales from the Internet, this is exactly what you should seek.

Research and ask about ALL of these skills and expertise domains, either directly, or as part of your Solicitation or Request for Proposal/Information (RFP/RFI):

1.    Is the firm accessible, with local, hands-on, in-person availability of subject matter experts?  Professional, personal service and communications are critical.

2.    Who exactly will you be working with; are these professionals accessible?  The firm's website should include leadership profiles and pictures, and these individuals should be well-known in the industry and accessible via professional social media (i.e. LinkedIn). The firm's leadership should have demonstrated at least 10 years in the Internet Technology industry.

3.    Is the firm established, well-known and engaged in the community, with clear evidence of success over time?  Avoid the newbies, the out-of-towners, the affiliate marketing scams (there are MANY around), the off-shore-ers, the "website marketing mills", the inexperienced recent graduates, the recent career-changers, the part-timers and interns.  Seek those with community roots and involvement, knowledge of local geopolitics. Does the firm appear among the top results itself, in local search engine results? (Try this – search for "Loudoun Internet Marketing" in Google – and note KME is referenced in nearly every result on the first page!). Is the firm engaged in local business and social media forums?

4.    Does the firm require a long-term contract? This is a clear sign of a revenue-focused firm, vs. a customer services-focused firm.

5.    Is the firm "in it for the long haul"? Firms with established certifications and designations, for example "Disadvantage Business Enterprise" (DBE) designations by the State of VA and the SBA, provide evidence of invested commitment to industry and clients.  KME is a designated "SWaM" (VA DBE) and "WOSB" (SBA) enterprise (in process). KME also maintains Google Adwords certifications.

6.    Is the firm focused on sales, or service, from the very first conversation? Fancy websites and reams of sales material or teams of traveling salespeople are no substitute for personalized, expert advice without the overhead – and therefore lower prices and better return on your investment (ROI).

7.    Is the firm specialized, or comprehensive?  You won't achieve success employing just a web design firm, just a programmer, just a PR contractor, just a social media expert, just an advertising company or employee – you need a firm with the chops, flexibility and expertise to address all your online objectives and challenges, at your price point.

8.    Can the firm "scale"? Does the firm have a robust network of partners and service providers that enable rapid growth and responsiveness to unforeseen or unplanned needs?

9.    Does the firm deliver the right expertise? You may want some of the following services, at different times – but proven, certified expertise across ALL of the following domains is absolutely required for comprehensive interactive marketing success – ask your prospective firm about each and every one; KME is one of only a very short list of "boutique" firms in Northern Virginia whose local personnel can claim this range of expertise, this "value proposition".



13 Domains of Required Interactive Marketing Expertise:

a.    Project Management – organizing time, schedule, resources, people, budget, campaigns, reviews – with rapid response and undivided attention, with experience from the smallest to the largest and most complex programs. Experience with PMP, CMMi.

b.    Business and Marketing Strategy – understanding your business, evolving the business case, managing requirements scope, dealing with nonprofit or government constraints, managing financial concerns, complying with policies, laws and standards, advising the startups.

c.    Communications – excellence in copywriting, PR, correspondence, Social Media - in Perfect American English

d.    Traditional Marketing – creating and buying print or broadcast ads, direct outreach, etc.

e.    Interactive Marketing – current skills in SEO, SEM, PPC, Mobile Ads, Social Media, Online Coupons, Ad Networks, Reputation Management

f.    Creative Design – unique, compelling audio, visual, video planning and production, for your website, your advertisements, your branding, your social outreach, your email, newsletters and other direct communications

g.    Information Technology (IT) – web technologies and architectures, Internet services and hosting, security and privacy, mobile platforms, digital content management, licensing and SLAs, ITIL, custom programming, systems integration, technical performance, continuity and disaster recovery.

h.    Systems Engineering – managing the lifecycle of a web technology project, from design through testing and "going live", including conversions, migrations, maintenance and integration with other projects. Experienced with Enterprise Architecture (EA) and SDLC methods.

i.    Information Architecture – the organization and placement of digital content and text copy on your site and social channels, use of "metadata" and "semantics", the navigation routes and funnels, the user experience (UX) and accessibility (i.e. Section 508) concerns

j.    Training and Transition – understanding what's necessary for your business and employees or partners to understand and use the new website, review and update content, modify business processes and roles, change application features and configurations.

k.    Business Performance and Analytics – creating and using analytics and reporting tools, to monitor, measure and dramatically improve the success of your marketing, mission or business.

l.    Industry Awareness – constantly evaluating new technologies, testing new services, maintaining awareness of digital trends and events that may impact your business – from search engine algorithm updates, to new website plug-ins and mobile consumer platforms.

m.    Industry Channels and Relationships – your business should be able to take advantage of the firm's social media channels and networks, content networks, publications and professional relationships. The firm should have access to experts in your industry.

Online Business Feedback, Yelp, Reviews & Critics - Managing Digital Reputation in DC

Nearly every business we work with is finding that more and more effort is required to manage their  online reviews and feedback. Particularly for local or regional businesses, the very first thing online consumers do in considering to visit or buy, is to seek out online reviews, search for online reputation or trust signals, and canvass their social media networks for trusted advice and opinion.

More often than not, the aggregate perception developed in a consumer's mind, from this online collection of "reputation proof points", will overcome ANY direct marketing, advertising or SEO efforts being made.

It's hard to fight back, and lawsuits really aren't the answer. This recent example here in Northern Virginia may result in some compensation - but the damage is done, and will last for a long time on the Internet.

Establishing consistent, durable and very positive online messaging isn't easy, and requires constant attention.  There's also no specific, simple answer, tool or web service - and furthermore, any tools or methods that are working today, will not be as effective tomorrow, given the constant changes and updates being made to social sites, search engines and competitive reactions.

What is absolutely necessary, to maintain a very positive, trustworthy, engaging and respectable professional presence online - is professional care and feeding of your online reputation paired with superior products, services and customer engagement.  It's not necessarily expensive, but requires time spent determining your status, planning your approach, executing an ongoing strategy and staying on top of the reviews.

Your response to online review and PR challenges also requires absolutely professional, high-quality American English copywriting and communications skills, with innate knowledge and understanding of your locality and local news, your market and customers, and your products, services and technical vocabulary.

We can help - as we do for all of our clients. The customer, community and revenue fallout from bad Google or Yelp reviews can be diluted, overcome, even officially retracted if unfair. Critics and negativity can be promptly, effectively, legally addressed. Positive feedback and testimonials can be solicited, collected and expertly highlighted. Great experiences and news can be prominently placed and optimized for maximum visibility. Professional public relations (PR) and communications strategies can be implemented, at extremely reasonable rates - and far more proactively and effectively than traditional advertising, web design, media publishers or PR firms can offer.

This is a difficult, quickly-growing issue that will always take time to address and monitor, and has to be an extremely important part of every business marketing and outreach plan.  Contact KME Internet Marketing today for more information, or to discuss the many ways we can help.  

Happy New Year 2013 - DC and Northern Virginia Digital Marketing Update by KME

Happy Holidays from KME Internet Marketing!

Hopefully you and yours will find time to decompress and finish up planning for business success in the new year.

KME has several significant announcements to report. We're now a certified "SWaM" (Small Woman-Owned Business), by the Commonwealth of Virginia Department of Minority Business Enterprises (DMBE). This certification both solidifies our presence and support for the small and local business community in Virginia and the DC area, and enables additional teaming and partnering opportunities for our services, aligned with responses to very large, complex government initiatives. Find out more about our Virginia SWaM Certification.

We're also now delivering IT & Marketing advisory services to startups and emerging businesses, essentially providing CIO/CTO/CMO consulting during the strategic planning and investment control stages of a new business. We've already helped several new, local and national startups through IT planning, marketing strategy and other technical decision hurdles, for both the benefit of the startup team itself and for communications, engagement with the investor community.

Several of these startups will emerge this year, and one has already been purchased; obviously they're somewhat "under wraps" at this time but moving aggressively towards their Beta release and securing additional rounds of investor financing, partnerships and growth.

Along with our roster of startups, our successful and satisfied client and partner list continues to grow. Newer SEO, SEM (Search Engine Optimization/Search Engine Marketing) or interactive web marketing initiatives range from Government to Commercial, large to small businesses - including the Loudoun County Department of Economic Development (DED), Hunt Country Propane, HIS Sign, Belfort Furniture, Kastle Systems, Signature Kitchens, ProTier Industries, and Shenandoah Urologic Specialists.

2013 is shaping up to be a very busy year for us and our Internet Marketing clients, particularly as web and mobile engagement technologies become a critical part to every business growth and marketing plan under the continuing pressures of the sluggish economy and cost savings requirements.

Have a fantastic holiday season, and happy New Year!

Kelly McLaughlan
CEO - KME Internet Marketing

Loudoun Chamber Grow Your Business Marketing - Presentation Slides

Thanks to the Loudoun County Chamber of Commerce for the warm reception and engaging dialogue regarding Business Marketing during the Grow Your Business lunch this February - slides from Kelly McLaughlan's presentation on Digital Marketing Spend by KME Internet Marketing are available below.

Be sure to read through older blog postings for much more information that's helpful to growing your Loudoun business!

Loudoun Chamber Business Networking Lunch Feb 2012 KME Internet Marketing

View more PowerPoint from Ted McLaughlan

Should I Still Buy Local Print Advertising? Even As Online Ad Spending Overtakes Print?

According to eMarketer, online ad spending will pass print ad spending in 2012. Therefore, this article concerns print advertising, and not online, digital advertising as we normally discuss.



For small to mid-sized companies targeting consumers (i.e. B2C) at a local level, say in Northern Virginia, allocating marketing and advertising budget for Internet, email and/or Pay-per-Click (PPC) should be a no-brainer. Paying for print advertisements was once a no-brainer as well - of course your ad needed to be in the Yellow Pages, in the local newspaper, delivered via catalogue, direct mail, leaflets, postcards or coupon inserts, or glossily displayed in the local niche magazine.

Should you STILL be paying for print advertising?


The short answer is YES, but ONLY IF:

(A) Your print advertisement budget is really a strategic investment in brand establishment, and isn't just another operating expense; or

(B) The print ad buy is absolutely efficient, and value-packed - i.e. it's precisely targeted in demographic reach and call-to-action, the cost is extremely reasonable, competitive and substantially discounted, the ad offer doesn't require comparison shopping, and the advertiser offers help with tracking impressions, conversions and promoting the ad through other channels.

One area (and there probably are others; provide comments below) in which this answer may fall short concerns advertisements for "traditional" paper consumers – i.e. folks who are always looking for coupon inserts, always read the flyer packs and scan the classifieds or newsprint religiously seeking jobs, interesting things to buy or do. Much of this usage was not only driven by demographic habits, but also by the lack of comparably-mobile, accessible, disposable and cheap access via cellphones...though this constraint is rapidly disappearing. However, if you now cater to traditional paper consumers – keep doing so, but carefully calculate your expense vs. benefits, and don't miss the boat on the rapidly growing choice of other consumption channels.

Also, we're not discussing printed messaging or advertising on self-contained mediums – like pens, mugs, t-shirts, stickies...these continue to perform well, and can be relatively inexpensive, but there's the additional distribution costs involved (though little stickies and prominent inserts on or in newspapers and magazines seem to have durable value, as do event giveaways/gifts, favors, swag, things we can use).

All the time we see new clients coming to us with "print advertising baggage" - i.e. contracts or agreements with print publishers that deliver no value at all; zero gain for big money. Big glossy ads in disposable magazines, newspapers, flyers that cost thousands of dollars, with literally no information available at all to the ad buyer regarding actual success metrics like reach, conversion, stickiness (i.e. durability of the message).

Sure, the magazine is mailed or delivered to xxx subscribers or outlets - but who actually takes action based on the campaign? Re-balancing advertising budget to include more focus on digital, Internet-delivered media usually yields a significant uptick in ROI (presuming it's done right, by online marketing professionals) - but how much print advertising budget should remain?

Let's take the scenarios raised above, where print advertising still does make sense - in spite of the prevailing doomsday prognostications for print-only publishers.

Print Ad Spend Scenario (A) is generally well-understood; if your goal is to get a new brand, product or message (that likely won't change very quickly, but will persist over time) out to new or existing audiences, to "burn it into their subconsciousness", to influence future decisions, socialization, future point-of-sale recall, to align the brand with a larger movement or context - then big print is for you. We say "big print", because unless the message is on a pen or shot glass, buying very small print ads is usually pretty ineffective, especially given the increasingly visual, tactile nature of expected marketing and advertising tactics these days.

What catches your eye as you flip through the newspaper or magazine? The big, visual ads do - especially as more and more news content is actually delivered visually, and we're being conditioned (especially the younger set) to be looking for big pictures, infographics and videos. We just don't want to read anymore (or write!), at least beyond the texting shorthand.

Direct mail is still a great way to establish brand or retain brand favor – though it can be expensive, some really neat online services have developed that create and send personalized, high-touch messages and greeting cards.

Print Ad Spend Scenario (B) is broken into several areas of concern, ALL of which should be satisfied for purchase of the most effective print ad campaign.

1. The print ad is precisely targeted in demographic reach, typical consumer behavior and context, and call-to-action.

This means your print ad is targeted to your very best customer segments, presupposing you actually know this. It's probably unlikely you'll be reaching many new customer segments through print (at least personal print, vs. billboards or public displays), since there aren't so many new, fantastic print publications coming out too often anymore (though hyperlocal, consumer-generated publications are on the rise, opening new forums for print advertising).

The print ad should also be placed only in publications that are most useful and used by your best customers (Big/small magazines? Broad or narrow topics? Daily news or weekly report?) – and it really should include the right kind of "facilitator" – i.e. a phone number, and email address, a Qrcode; whatever is most used by your best customers. Read the publication yourself, and look at any online reviews or feedback – is it truly a "quality" publication as deemed by its readers, as reviewed by yourself? Or just a big, glossy bunch of ads with very shallow original, useful content – something to be browsed and discarded, vs. kept on your desk.

The print ad must definitely and plainly tell your customer what to do, and when – i.e. "use this coupon this week for a real bargain" – it must convey some tangible value, and stay in mind if not in hand. If you sell auto parts, don't advertise in a fashion magazine, or anywhere in the newspaper except right next to the auto sales or review section (or classifieds).

2. The price is extremely reasonable, fair, competitive and/or substantially discounted.

The price of local print ads is driven purely by what the buyers agree to pay, and what the competition advertises – usually without much differentiation given to the likely demographic reach or response. If pressed, most publishers (especially now) may negotiate on price, especially if their inventory of unfilled space is large – and the price to you, as a buyer, should and could be 40-50-60% lower than "traditional" pricing, especially if you agree to multiple or group purchases. There are deals to be had – so press them, and if the price is same 'ol, same 'ol and just seems out of bounds – walk (there are many other places to spend your advertising dollars).

3. The ad offer doesn't require comparison shopping – it simply IS a good deal, right now.

One of the inherent benefits of computer or mobile shopping, coupons, deals – is that quick comparisons are available, as well as reviews, testimonials, social gauges. This isn't really available among printed advertisements – so don't drive consumers online. Your printed ad must simply be the very best and final price for the greatest deal to be had – ever, end of discussion. If it's a "competitive" offer, wishy-washy in message or not clear on very explicit benefits – it won't convert. "Call us today for the best price" doesn't work anymore – instead of calling, a mobile consumer will just search in Google.

4. The publisher offers help with tracking impressions, conversions, plus supporting and promoting the ad through other channels or referrals.

This is where some print publishers can really stand out – the contextual, social support of the ad and community of viewers and prospective buyers. When the publication runs the ad, do they also reference or point to it in some way, on their website or social media channels? Does the publication provide a way to track responses, i.e. a dedicated call tracking number or a barcode or Qrcode to route mobile queries? Perhaps the ads can include slightly different language, URLs or offers across different publisher segments (i.e. contexts or areas in which the ad is presented) – to help you differentiate which demographic is responding?

Can the publisher attach piggyback offers, i.e., "respond to this ad and we'll throw in a free xxx"? There are many ways a publisher can create additional value and reach for the print ad, by leveraging other publisher assets and including services such as integrated search engine marketing and print campaigns – seek to explore this with them.

A final consideration is whether the print ad buy being contemplated is sufficiently integrated with all your other marketing campaigns and channels – i.e., does your website mention the coupon? Is the print ad supported by an SEO'd landing page on the website, or contain a dedicated, tracked phone number? Does the print ad include an offer to join a related social community (like a Facebook page). While this isn't necessary required, it's surely a better value if your print ad dollars are supported by your other marketing spend.

So, if the deal you can reach with a print publisher, your advertising "creative" director and your marketing budget advisor can meet the criteria above, and you've discussed this with your online marketing team – buy some print advertising today! Your local newspaper is still a great place to start, for example, as are local industry magazines backed by established publishers.

KME Internet Marketing stands ready to help you through this decision, integrate and balance your marketing spend, design and implement your campaign across any channel – Web, Direct, Communications.

Rent Our Beachfront – Um, “Socialfront” Property; Legit, Relaxed Roommates Preferred

That's right, we've got some amazing un-real estate now for rent, in all the great places.

Whether you're looking for a quick getaway, or longer-term (monthly contracts available) socialfront property – we've got attractive options for you. Seeking a short term stay among the technorati in sunny San Diego? Need a monthly rental with all the amenities in the company of other New Jersey shore online enthusiasts? Looking to rub shoulders online with fun-loving, healthy lifestyles and the social media elite of Denver? Looking to be a virtual roommate with other Twitter fans in DC, but don't want the hassle or risk of ownership or long-term commitments?

Several highly desirable, attractive, extremely conversational socialfront properties or "channels" are available today, for temporary, short or long-term lease. Your lease agreement can range from full-time residence to metered instances of occupation. Let others know you're visiting, or rest comfortably in virtual anonymity. "Occupy our social media" with easy terms, minimal damage deposit and few restrictions on redecoration – "furniture" and post-visit cleanup included!

If you're really cool – we'll throw in some free nights.

Rent a piece of the socialfront action today – in these easy steps:

1 – Choose your audience, your ideal social community – top-visited, fun locations currently include DC, San Diego, Denver, Northern Virginia and New Jersey! (We’re also the largest un-land owner of the most desirable virtual locations in picturesque @Loudoun County, VA – DC's Wine & Beer Country!)

2 – Tell us your rental plans – how often will you visit, over what time period?

3 - What would you say to your neighbors, your new community? Are you going to be loud and obnoxious, or just chillax?

4 – Do you mind roommates, or want the property all for yourself?

5 – Perhaps you'd like help – letting others know about your parties, your presence, your pad? Your pumped-up kicks?

6 – Want to swap couches? (Bedbug free!) Let us know what you've got – maybe we know someone (like us) who'd like to visit you, rent your place.

We'll help you choose the best vacation spot for your message, and help make sure your stay is fun, fruitful and fantastic!

(Note to visitors – we'll obviously let you tweet about your stay, and we'll spread the word, as part of the deal; no posers, though, you'll need a #tag.)

(2nd Note – still doesn't click? 6 words; Ur Msg @Our Twitter Accts.)